YELLOWROSES, SMILES AND TEARS

Sunday, July 29, 2012

LYRICS TO MEMORY from BROADWAY MUSICAL, CATS

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

MEMORY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPcf67Vyri0&feature=player_embedded

Who knew the full significance of this song, MEMORY, as our beautiful family watched CATS on
Broadway in New York...

Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
and a rose that is fading...roses wither away
Like the sunflower, I yearn to turn my face to the sun,
I am waiting for the day-----from MEMORY in CATS

Not from the HEART... anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebSYPnllFx8&feature=player_embedded

LONELY DOVE

DESERT, DESERT, AND DESSERT

DESERT, DESERT, AND DESSERT...each one has significant meaning to me at this point in my life.
DESERT, the noun, the sandy, barren, isolated, dry, lonely place___I can relate to it, it is how I am feeling.

DESERT, the verb, abandon,____ a significant state of my mind, uncomfortable, sad, surprised, and mostly, disappointed feeling I have recently developed, whether a realistic one or not.

DESSERT, one should always enjoy it---you know what they say, "Life is short..Eat dessert first"

OKAY, so now what?... Curse the situations?... Wallow in self-pity?... Shrivel up and die? ...or maybe simply (or not.simply)...
Move to a new location where there is LIFE of all kinds, any kind...greenery, rain...HOPE

Bless them, and think, "oh, well, see ya when I see ya.", they either get it or they don't
and now, GO MAKE YOURSELF A delicious CHEESECAKE, AND ENJOY IT !!!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

bummed...

feeling bummed...Big Time Lonely, always. It's Saturday. All's so quiet. rarely get into anything. creativity is shot. want to 1%, but never grab at the life preserver Not helping God by helping myself. just waiting for Him to do it all, needing a miracle. Yesterday was Friday...and it was awful again...I was remembering how Friday was the best day of our week. It was our Date Night...but those are over. so much is over., except ugly grief. it's not over, and i fear it will be the never ending story..........

                                                     i wear sadness like a new skin
                                                           like a snake, that shed the old happy skin for this new
                                                                                                       sad, sad, sad skin.

where are my children ? those babies we had and loved so, all grown up now with new lives, loves, needs...i see glimpses of them from time to time, i know they are out there...do they know i am here alone, always, lonely always. empty, disconnected, overwhelmed with thoughts about my future ?????????????????????????????????? ahhhhhh, compassion is a diluted drink, stale with life's passing.

                                                           who is this woman ? I hardly recognize her or her life now

i remember how contentment felt...you don't know it while you posess it, but when it leaves you know it was the most wonderful feeling...freeing, safe, assured, confident, peaceful, grateful. and then death steals it from you...never to live in your heart totally ever ever again. You will not know contentment again.   Grief takes its place in your mind, your heart...your soul?   I would give ANYTHING to sense that feeling, contentment, for one second. one second just one second.    SLEEP is the closest gift that mimics contentment, in that everything stops, all pain ceases for a time when you go off into the blackness, the nothingness of sleep and therefore...you have a kind of contentment. Happiness...joy...many say---it is a choice. make that choice !   I think I want those things or maybe i don't really

                                      would the yellow rose want to grow...
                                              knowing the sun will never shine on her again?
                                                               could she grow at all ...
                                       would she fight to survive, live, bloom,                                                                                climb and stretch searching for the light
                                       or would she... forlorn...simply wither and die.?..