2013

THIS SAYS IT ALL...

 When someone is struggling, reach out. Be a healer. Be a restorer. Take time to wipe away the tears. Your job is not to judge. Your job is to lift the fallen.    -JOEL OSTEEN

THIS SAYS IT ALL...

JOY

OUR WORLD NEEDS LOVE

missing you...

I miss you terribly...

Amelia, Elizabeth, and Christy

AMELIA...ELIZABETH...CHRISTY...
    You are the SUN for me...the bright golden light that warms the day, the earth, and everyone...You are the silvery MOON for me that lights up the purple night sky and has all the stars dancing around you...You are the STARS for me, the brightest star that shoots across the midnight sky, the one we make our secret wish upon

MESSAGE TO MY FAMILY

 ...and to ALL my kids I say with hugs and kisses, "I truly love you...and you are wonderful, amazing, and good. You are the loves of my life, always have been, always will be. God bless you." MOM/MAMMA/GRACE

THE CLIMB...GIVING IT MY ALL

We all have stand-down moments that require us to stand up, stand in the center of ourselves, and know who we are. When you lose what you thought was a perfect relationship, when your marriage falls apart, when the job that defined you for 20 years is gone, when the people you'd counted on turn their backs on you, there's no question that changing the way you think about your situation is key to creating a strategy for improvement. Consciously, joyously, I continue the climb into 2013. Step, step, stepping with open arms, I'm going to give it my all.
                                                                                            -OPRAH WINFREY

It's so hard to say, goodbye.

In Tune With God

I can experience contentment in my midsts of adversity, because of my relationship with Christ. He has allowed it for a reason...my attitude must be in tune with Him. ♥

Momma,
I hope today as your tears fall, you can find a way to rejoice in the love you shared with daddy and the time you had together. What a gift that is, not everyone is fortuante to enjoy. I wish there was something I could do or say that would heal your heart. All I can offer is the hope of a new Someday throughthe promise God gives us. Cling to God, maybe a little tighter today and know that we love you. I know today marks a day of sadness in our life, but it also marks the day daddy was healed and he was able to open his eyes in heaven and look upon the face of God. I know that God said to him "well done, my good adn faithful servant." and I know daddy was overjoyed to be wrapped in the arms of Jesus as he was welcomed there.
I love you and am saying an extra prayer of comfort for you (and all of us) today

AMELIA'S...TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER

A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER-TRAVIS SPENCER JOHNSON
"A life not rememberd, is a life forgotten."

Four years ago life changed dramatically. The Johnsons became mortal. My faith in God was challenged, my heart ached, my soul cried...I lost my daddy. Not only was he my daddy but he was my best friend--a constant chearleader of my life, a coach to challenge me to bigger things, a hug to wrap me up when I was sad. He taught me what it meant to have integrity, to work hard and that NOTHING was ever impossible with God. I loved working alongside him and learning so much about business and computers and life--I truly would not be as capable as I am had he not taught me all he had. I loved watching him love my children--he was a beautiful Poppa to them and stepped in when our family fell apart to love them like a father. I loved watching him love my mom--their love story was like no other and I truly know God moved heaven and earth to bring them together. They modeled for me what unconditional love means. I loved how he soaked up my mom's love for him--truly beautiful. He taught me to be a survivor--a lesson I would test many times in my life thus far. Never give up, never walk away for one person, and JUST DO IT! I loved how he loved God's creations--horses, the sea, his land. My father was truly an example of God the father here on earth.
Although time has put a dull ache on the pain of him not physically being here, I miss him greatly. Every day I stuff the sadness that comes from wanting to pick up the phone and call him to go to lunch or share an accomplishment or hear his laugh. But every day that passes I know is one day closer to seeing you again, dad. I am so thankful to God for giving me such an amazing father and friend and I am so thankful to God for the gift of memories. I can close my eyes and see his smile, or his Chesier cat laugh, hear his encouraging voice. I see him in Liz and my kids--in little faces they make, ways they move, and their smiles---in my sister's faces, in lessons he taught Stephen and in my mom's love for him. And I see him in me.
I only wish I had just one more day with you dad, but perhaps I would always want "just one more day." So until then I carry you in my heart and hope to live a life that you would be proud of.
I will always love you, daddy!

my prayer...

Fourth anniversary in Heaven...always in my heart

                      
                                            always, always in my heart...and waiting for
                                         Our Someday in Heaven... never to part again.

your smile

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AUTUMN FESTIVAL

FAMILY DINNER CELEBRATING GOD'S GIFT OF AUTUMN with an AUTUMN FESTIVAL.  It was simply wonderful.  The colors, the variety of foods. The many different flavors.

The glow of the fire, enjoying togetherness in God's outdoors.  So awesome, so lovely.- Making you aware of the amazing gifts God has blessed us with--especially FAMILY.

Amelia and Stephen could not make it.  We missed them,  but their wonderful GANG was there.  Mostly, we missed Travis, my Love, their Dad, their Papa.  We were sitting around in front of the fire remembering his goodness in our lives, with tears, smiles, laughter,  and gratitude.

 FAMILY just isn't the same when a loved one is not there.

FAITH

Grief Barriers

Get beyond the barriers of the past and start expecting God to do great things in your future.

         Joel Osteen     

LOVE OF MY LIFE

MY SOULMATE

YOU are the LOVE of MY LIFE, and I will be YOURS FOREVER ...

IF I CAN STOP ONE HEART FROM BREAKING...

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

                             

                 -Emily Dickinson



And this has been my philosophy for all of my life   

IN YOU ALONE, by Kim Hill

IN You Alone

www.youtube.com

Lyrics to Kim Hill's song, IN YOU ALONE, just in case you like to sing like I do : )

I lift my eyes when I am troubled
I lift my hands, I lift my heart
And there I stand knowing nothing can defeat me
Just as long as I know where You are

In You alone
Is where I find my comfort

In You Alone

You're my only hope

In You alone
My heart has found a resting place

In You alone
In You alone

So I won't fear though darkness hides me
No, I won't let my courage sway
For You are near and at the brightness of Your glory
The shadows of the night melt away

In You alone
Is promise I can cling to

In You alone
You're my security

In You alone
My soul has found a dwelling place
Only in You alone

What could separate me from Your love?
Neither life nor death, nor anything at all
Anything at all

In You alone
Is where I find my comfort

In You alone
You're my only hope

In You alone
My heart has found a resting place

Only in You alone
Only in You alone
Only in You alone

ME, GRACE APREA JOHNSON

SONG OF SOLOMON

SONG OF SOLOMON, 2006

...and my sweet love shall forever be my music     

JUDITTA DANCING FOR THE LORD

I loved painting JUDITTA DANCING FOR THE LORD in 2007.  It is one of my dearest paintings, for it holds a very special memory and lesson for me.

 As I worked on my painting, I was pleased with how it was developing. I had left the face for last, since it was the most important part of my painting, and would be the most challenging for me. Well, it was. Many faces and much paint had been rubbed out on that canvas.

 I was sad, because instead of my painting being of a beautiful woman dancing, it was going to be of a woman with NO FACE. Over and over again I tried to create the right face, but just could not succeed.

I was almost ready to give up, when I turned to God. I know that God is always with me, in all I do. Especially when I am immeresed in my art. But I guess I needed reminding.

I became STILL and PEACEFUL and I prayed. "God, you see how I am having such difficulty. I am so frustrated. I know I can do ALL THINGS WITH YOU.  I can do NOTHING WITHOUT YOU. Please, God, Be my eyes and my hand, and guide my brush to create a beautiful face."

After a few moments, I loaded my brush with paint and began my last try at her face. It was not long before the face you see emerged. I know God guided my hand, and created her face, just as if it were the face of one of His children.

So, you see why this is one of my most favorite paintings. I am very amazed, to this day, that I created it. Because, I DIDN'T! And thus the title, JUDITTA DANCING FOR THE LORD.

God reminded me, "Come to me, especially when things look hopeless."
He is always there with a helping hand. Thank you, God, Thank you. Juditta reminds me again today, and will always be a reminder of God's powerful Love.You see her eyes...they are looking up to God, as she dances His praises. Have HOPE, all of you. Go to God.

I DANCE FOR YOU

I hear the music

and I remember

I dance for you

and my soul aches

weeps with longing

for I can only hold the memory

the memory of our love

love ended too soon

TO DANCE FOR YOU

I hear the music...and I remember...I am there...dancing for you...and my soul aches and weeps with longing...for I can only hold the memory...the memory of our love...love ended too soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftCuyXsSy0k

FAITH

FAITH  is not
hoping God can,
but knowing God will !

FINDING THE LIGHT

"Sometimes... finding the Light means passing through the deepest darkness."
                               -Logan (movie, The Lucky One)

MAMA'S LITTLE PURPLE PLUMS

2 hours ago

• •  Yesterday, at the supermarket, I saw these tiny purple plums. I hadn't seen them anywhere, since my days in New York. A much-loved memory came flashing back the moment I saw them. I was a little girl in New York, playing the boardgame, PARCHEESI, with my little girlfriends. My mom called me from our third floor window. I can still hear her sweet voice,"Graceee!". I ran and looked up to see my mom's pretty smiling face. Her hair was dark then and fell forward from the sides of her face as she looked down at me. Mom had something in a little brown paper bag for us to share. She wanted me to catch it when it was tossed down to me. We all laughed and screamed with excitement when the little present floated right into my little hands. We quickly sat on the concrete ground huddled in a circle bursting with curiousity and anxious to discover what my mom's secret gift was. I unrolled the bag to open it, and turned it upside down. Little ball-like things fell into my lap. They were not balls at all, but little oval purple plums. After giggling our heads off, I looked up to see mom's face beaming. She had been watching us all the while, and enjoying our little- girl silliness. All of us jumped up and down thanking her for her kindness and our wonderful snack. Mom smiled contentedly, then disappeared from the window going back to her day's work. My friends and I skipped back to Parcheesi with our little purple plums. We were so happy, playing a fun game and enjoying a sweet little purple plum. I learned a lot from that simple little experience, as I'm sure my friends did as well. Mom taught us about God by showing us love, kindness, joy, She taught what it meant to share even little things, to have fun. Mom taught me about a mother's love through those little purple plums.  I love you, Mom, and thank you.
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GOD'S APPROVAL IS ALL THAT MATTERS

"Quit dwelling on the negative things people have said about you.  You don't have to have everyone's approval. You have God's approval."                                                          

                                          -Joel Olsteen            

GOD WILL

IF I NEVER KNEW YOU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKE1LU0ttqY&feature=player_embedded

Poem For You, Travis, my sweet love,  Happy Anniversary...

Oh...If I never knew you I would not know all this pain,
joy would be my friend,
my heart would be whole, not broken and crushed,
I would not drink my tears only to shed them again,
If I never knew you, sorrow would not be the only garment I wear

But...If I never knew you, my eyes would have never gazed into your eyes and seen my reflection there,
I would never have seen your face and the smile I would love forever,
I would never hear your voice, that would become my music,
If I never knew you, I would never feel your touch, so warm, so safe, the only food I would really ever need.

Yes...If I never knew you
my heart would not be
heavy with grief,
it would not ache
with longing
to see you,  
for you to look into my eyes and see yourself there,
to see you smile at me,
to hear you say, "i love you",
to feel you, hold you, have you hold me, and feel safe and warm and loved once again.

If I never knew you, I would have missed the chance to learn the precious meaning of Life... of Love...of God.

August 21, 1976, Our Someday

          

      

My Never Ending Love For You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=14Tl4MAPozk#t=36s

Memories...Marina del Rey, California, The
Randy Tar Restaurant <3 :)

Happy Anniversary, To Travis, My Sweet Love

Some people are fortunate enough to find their SoulMate. I know I did. God gave us a beautiful amazing Love, a Gift, a Miracle. God blessed me with a man who was everything a woman could hope for and more. There just are not enough good words to say about him. Travis was a man I pray all your sons grow up to be like, a man I pray God puts in your daughters' lives, and they are wise enough to choose such a man. God blessed us with 33 wonderful years TOGETHER on earth...so not enough. Like our Love song says, "love never dies". I ache with grief, miss him so. But I am so very grateful that God chose to bless me with Travis. Happy Anniversary, T. Thanks, Holding on to God's Promise, for Our next beautiful Someday. I love you for always.

There comes a time...

 

"l

"

"Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living." 

                              what if you feel like you lost your joy? 

                              what if you feel like you lost the will to get back up again?

                               

A CARING FRIEND'S PRAYER FOR ME

 "May God's devine power gently guide your gifted hands to a canvas and through them create, paint and bless us all!"

HEED GOD'S WHISPER

LIFE is about GROWTH and CHANGE.

If you are no longer doing that, that is your WHISPER.

THAT IS YOUR WHISPER THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
                  

                              ...OPRAH WINFREY

HEED GOD'S WHISPER

And My Prince Did Come...

Girls...did you ever sing into a pot when you were a little girl???
I did. I pretended to be Snow White, and I sang, "Someday, My Prince Will Come". I did this while cleaning the kitchen after dinner. My singing sounded so lovely with the echo of the pot. Try it. Shared this childhood memory with my granddaughter, Victoria. She tried it, and said it was awesome, but also said I was hilarious. Don't knock it, Victoria, my Prince really did come.

IN YOUR HEART FOREVER

Poopsie's photo.

MY RUSTY SKATES

When I saw this picture of rollerskates from the fifties, it brought to mind a favorite memory from my childhood. And so...the result of my love for writing and telling stories...

 

                                                    MY RUSTY SKATES

I  grew up in the Bronx in New York, with red brick buildings with stoops and fireescapes and beautiful wrought iron fences and johnny pumps. Your neighborhood was called your block. My block was a happy, friendly place where everyone knew each other. Sometimes people would place a cushion on their windowsills to lean out and watch all that went on below.
   
 In the summertime, the older folk, men wearing fedoras, or chubby little ladies in their pretty housedresses, would set their chairs out on the sidewalk in little groups and chat together.There were so many kids that you probably could start a school.
   
 It was a time when kids played outdoors alot, no matter if it were freezing cold or burning hot. We played ball and jacks and hopskotch and tag. We ran and jumped and skipped. But best of all...we rollerskated. We skated on gray concrete sidewalks with jaggedy cracks that "broke your mother's back". We even rollerskated IN THE HOUSE on the great linoleum floors, until we heard, "Didn't I tell you NO ROLLERSKATING IN THE HOUSE?!" But the very best place to rollerskate was the street, tarred smooth and black, wide and spacious, where you could make those long glides and be part of the wind. But, we weren't allowed to play in the street, even if it wasn't a street busy with lots of traffic.

More than anything, I wanted a pair of rollerskates. I don't remember how, but I saved up the money to buy myself a pair (probably from the money I saved from soda bottle deposits and my little business finding coins under the big freezer at Milly's grocery store--but that's a whole other story).

I took my $7.00 and went around the corner to Sam's Hardware Store to make my wish come true. Sam handed me the shoebox with my new rollerskates. They were silver and shiny and heavy with stiff brown leather straps that buckled around your ankle. Rollerskates came with a wonderful, magic weird-looking KEY! AT LAST I HAD ROLLERSKATES!!! I WAS ONE HAPPY KID ON MY BLOCK.           ...to be continued

At last I had my rollerskates and their key. That key was very important. It was used to lengthen or shorten your skates, and to attach them to the soles of your shoes. So, I put my key on a string and wore it around my neck, so it would always be available.

Rollerskating became my most wonderful new adventure. I remember skating with my friends, and feeling like I owned the world. There was nothing better, nothing could make me happier. We skated everywhere. On the sidewalks making the harsh grinding sound that was music to my ears, and on the street, ten kids across in our exciting speedskating races.

I was a good skater. I'm sure I did, but I don't remember ever falling down. I was fast, too. Once, skating with my friends on another block, a white dog came barking out of nowhere chasing after me. That was my fastest skating ever!

Then came the day I skated in the street. I was near a big double-parked truck. I was not in any danger-- to me...but mom was at the window, and saw me on my skates... in the street... next to that  truck. I remember her screaming, "Gracie!".

I believe my skates were taken away that day. Nevermore to be seen, until one gray day. I was leaning out the window overlooking our pretty backyard, when I suddenly noticed something hanging from a crevice beneath the gray stony windowsill. It was a brown leather strap. I recognized it, as if it were a long lost friend. It was. Placing my hand by the strap, I felt around until I wriggled my trapped friend from its hiding place. Yes! My rollerskates were placed, lodged and hidden in the small space beneath the windowsill. For how long?...I have no idea.

I only know, upon examining them, that the wheels were terribly rusty from rain and snow of a New York winter. Even if I were allowed to use them again, my rollerskates were no good to me anymore. They were dead.

I have no clear memories of what happened next. I believe I learned that my mother hid them there.  I can imagine how deeply sad I was.

But, the important part of this story is that I learned something about my mother's powerful love for me. My mother had known a little boy who was killed by a car while sitting on a curb adjusting his rollerskate. When my mother saw me on rollerskates, in the street, by a truck...her fear took over. She had to hide those skates. Whether or not it was the right or best decision, as a mother I totally understand her actions. As mothers, we can only do our best with love. I lost my rollerskates, because my mom was afraid to lose me. I love you, mom.

                                                  
                        MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER, AMELIA APREA          

                                           

To make you feel my love...

Make You Feel My Love by Adele {lyrics} Adele - Lovesong

 Adele - Make You Feel My Love (Live on Letterman) AdeleVEVO 11,947,383 views 1 year ago Music video by Adele performing Make You

4:10 Adele - MaAdele - Lovesong

ke You Feel My Love (Live on Letterman) AdeleVEVO 11,948,901 views 1 year ago Music video by Adele performing Make You Feel My Love. (C) 2011 XL Recordings  Feel My Love. (C) 2011 XL Recordings Ltd

Spente Le Stelle

Spente le stelle...the stars have gone out

O MIO BABBINO CARO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZRuYQ9KRJms


I loved this aria from Puccini's opera, Gianni Schicchi, before I even knew what the words meant.  It tells my story, about the love I had for my Travis, and the difficult time my father gave us.  God worked everything out beautifully, and Travis and I saw our Someday, the day we were married, August 21, 1976.

O MIO BABINO CARO

Original Italian Lyrics
O mio babbino caro,
mi piace, è bello, bello.
Vo’andare in Porta Rossa a comperar l’anello!                                                     MY TRAVIS...1975

...

Sì, sì, ci voglio andare!
e se l’amassi indarno,
andrei sul Ponte Vecchio,
ma per buttarmi in Arno!

Mi struggo e mi tormento!
O Dio, vorrei morir!
Babbo, pietà, pietà!
Babbo, pietà, pietà!

Literal English Translation
Oh my dear papa,
I love him, he is handsome, handsome.
I want to go to Porta Rossa
To buy the ring!

Yes, yes, I want to go there!
And if my love were in vain,
I would go to the Ponte Vecchio
And throw myself in the Arno!

I am anguished and tormented!                                          
Oh God,

Papa, have pity, have pity!    
Papa, have pity, have pity!

TRAVIS

Travis.  Shakespeare said, ..."What's in a name?"  Oh, I don't know the answer to that question. I only know that I love your name...always have from the first day I heard it from your lips.  Little did I know that your name would be the name of the man that would love me, and the name of the man that I would love forever.
I have so much to say to you...about you.  But, now I can only speak your name in my mind. Travis...I whisper your name and a million warm and peaceful thoughts and images flood my mind.
I know what you would say to me.  I hear your voice. I feel your prayers for me.  I want to make you happy and proud.  I want you to be in peace...true peace. 
Until we meet again on our Special Someday... when forever will be ours.

MY FRIEND CALLED, HOPE

Today, I feel different.  Has HOPE come into my heart? I HOPE so...God, I HOPE so.  :) <3
I HOPE she has not come for a short visit, but finds me so interesting that she wants to stay FOREVER.  She will become my imaginery FRIEND, named HOPE.  Today, I met a new friend.  Her name is HOPE. Thanks, God

Now, that I think about it, HOPE was always my friend.  We just lost touch, and God brought us together again.  Hmmm...

MY PRAYER

Dear God...

            my prayer is for you to peel from me, rip from me, if you must, this heavy weight of skin of sorrow, so that I may breathe and move freely in your light, and become all that you desire me to be... for you.

I will then lovingly and gently gather the beautiful wounded and scarred flesh of me, and lay it in a lovely secret place within my heart, for it will always be a part of who I will become.

                          Thank You, Dear Heavenly Father,

                                                    Thank you.
                                                                  Amen

The Yellowrose and Her Sun

would the yellow rose want to grow... knowing the sun will never shine on her again?
could she grow at all ?...
                                      
would she fight to survive, to live,
to bloom, to climb and stretch searching for the light?
or would she... forlorn...
simply wither and die.?...

Survival...Be Like the Bird...

Be like the bird,
Who halting in her flight,
On limb too slight,
Feels it give way beneath her...
Yet sings, sings,
Knowing she hath wings.

          ---Victor Hugo

PSALM 143:10

Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

Ps. 143:10 (Yielding is the one and only thing that will bring true peace my way.)

I WILL TRUST YOU, LORD!

ago

I will trust you Lord!

When sorrow shakes my world,

When heartache still remains...
I will trust you Lord...I will trust you Lord.